It’s time to breathe in and let out a sigh of relief. Tax Day is finally behind us for another year! However, if you believe in the Mayan Calendar and the “Great Cycle” is set to end on the winter solstice of 2012 (December 21 2012) or are among the people who think Asteroid DA14 that is predicted to come zooming within 17,000 miles of Earth on February 13th will actually hit our planet, than this is the last tax year you will ever have to face. How comforting is that? Yet, I have a sneaking suspicion Tax Day will arrive on time again in April 2013 just like it has in all the previous years.
Now that the stressful day is behind us, lets take a few minutes out to enjoy a laugh or two at some of the stupid creative individuals who have tried to cheat on their taxes. I have found a few stories while browsing the internet I think really take the cake and wonder what people are truly thinking when they try and reason with the crazy write offs they believe the IRS will accept. I’m not sure if even the most qualified Tax Lawyer could help in some of these instances. Check out these stories!
Drug dealer tries to write of his marijuana crop.
This guy was either smoking way too much of his own crop or plain brain dead! A drug dealer who wanted to make sure he was obeying the tax laws and everything was on the up and up decided to sit down with a CPA and listed his crop of marijuana as a deductible business expense. However, his good intentions went up in smoke! Apparently, the United States government didn’t want his illegal “green” tax dollars when they could seize his property and arrest him instead.
Your pets are NOT dependents.
I’ve actually heard of several stories of individuals trying to claim their pets as dependents, but unfortunately they are barking up the wrong tree. As a pet owner of two dogs (soon to be three) and two overfed cats, I sympathize with the expense of feeding the fury critters and supplying them with toys, snacks, and bedding. Honestly, they are like babies, yet the IRS doesn’t recognize them as actual dependents. Many years ago I was told by a pet store owner about a man who owned 5 dogs and placed all their names on his tax forms as children. He was able to claim $10,000 in living expenses until he got stupid and tried claiming the “dog food.” Of coarse his outlandish deductions caused him a painful audit and he was heavily fined for his actions.
However, if your a junkyard owner and using a cat to take care of your nasty snake and rat problem, which results in making the junkyard safer for customers, than you can write off the cat food as an expense.
Fake Boobs – This was actually allowed!
A stripper who was born with small boobs was convinced by her agent to get breast implants to increase her earnings. Cynthia Hess, known as “Chesty Love” underwent surgery to correct her hereditary deficiency to an eye-popping 56FF and then to 56N. Do they even make bras that size? Anyways, she saw an “uplift in earnings” undoubtedly from her enormous bosom which caught the attention of talk-show hosts, such as the shock jock and well known chest connoisseur Howard Stern and Sally Jesse Raphael.
Cynthia claimed her breasts caused her much discomfort (duh) and would not wear them off stage if she could take them out. The courts granted the claim with the notion implants so extraordinarily large are “useful only in her business” and, therefore, tax deductible.
Donating rare blood.
A woman with a rare blood type made more than $7000 by donating her blood. She tried to offset her earnings by claiming a “depletion deduction” for the loss of her mineral content and the her blood’s ability to regenerate.
Even though mineral depletion is a valid claim on tax forms of firms removing minerals such as coal and iron from the ground, the tax court decided individuals can not claim blood as a loss. This rule also applies for men trying to offset their sperm donor earnings.
Designer Clothes
A manager at a high end boutique was required to purchase and wear the designers’ clothing to keep within the appearance of her exclusive lifestyle. She tried to deduct the cost of the outfits as an employee business expense, because she only wore the clothes to work. In her defense, she felt the clothing was too dressy to match her simple, everyday lifestyle.
The court denied her claim on the reasoning that the clothes were suitable to wear outside of work even though they didn’t meet her taste.
Do you know any crazy stories related to paying taxes, from friends or family, that you can share?
Disclosure-“This post is in association with our friends at www.irsproblemsolve.com
